Tackling Networking Anxiety: Let's Ace Those Conversations Together
Picture this. You finally drag yourself to that meeting or networking event. You’ve got business cards burning a hole in your pocket. There are tons of people. You don’t know anyone. Someone whose job title must include the word “sales" approaches you with that over-exuberant “Nice to meet you!” face. They strike up a conversation and immediately you feel your own face turning red because you know any minute they’re going to ask you a question.
I’m not a real business owner.
What am I even doing here?
Why did I come?
I’m not sure this is going to help by business grow anyway.
How do I talk about what I do without feeling silly?
If you’ve ever felt that way, I’ve been there, too. I’ll never forget when I worked on the editorial team at a large magazine in Houston. A few months into the job, I was supposed to attend a private gala with several of my coworkers. I was the first to arrive.
Keep in mind, I was fresh out of college and this was one of my first “big girl” events. A few minutes into walking around by myself, acting like I knew what I was doing, and eyeing the door every few seconds to see if I could spot a familiar face, I introduce myself to a woman. She talks for a while about what a beautiful venue we’re in, then she begins her spiel about who she works for and how amazing they are... You get it.
I quickly realize she works at a competing publication in the area! She finally pauses and asks, “So what do you do?” I tell her where I work and immediately she chimes in, “Oh, we do the same thing!”
Either she honestly did not know the difference between our two very different publications or just didn’t want to admit it. Our magazines featured real stories. Real people. We didn’t run “The Best Dentist in the City” paid-for advertorials. And you’d never spot a recipe on the inside back cover. Every page was valuable real estate that our team strove to fill with inspiration and family fun.
So how do you get over the fear of putting yourself out there? I wish there was a magic pill. But in my own experience it just gets easier with practice.
Here are a few tips to get you started.
1. Start with the other person.
One of the best pieces of advice I’ve heard when learning to overcome your fears is to have a “There you are vs. here I am” attitude. Having this mindset will make it so much easier to meet new people and be able to strike up conversations.
If you’re a “here I am” person, you make everything all about yourself. Your job. Your interests. Your trip last weekend. If you’re a “there you are” person, you make others the center of attention. What do they enjoy about their job? What did they do over the weekend? What was their best summer memory? To quote Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People, "To be interesting, be interested."
2. Resolve to try.
It’s a sad stat that 90% of small businesses fail — with failure most common for startups during those first 2-5 years according to Embroker.com.
Resolve in advance to face the difficulties you encounter head-on knowing that your greatest hurdles will likely come in the first five years. Don’t give up before you even get the chance to start.
Resolve to try everything at least once or twice. That first time you attend a networking night, it might have been an off night. There may have been less attendance than normal, and you’re missing out because you judged the whole group by one experience.
3. Just go for it.
When we first started Marken Media Co. in 2017, we reached out to people we knew telling them about our big leap. We were taking our freelance design and writing full-time! It was scary but also amazing!
People either needed us or knew someone who did. Word spread. Referrals came in God’s perfect timing. Nearly seven years later, here we are — still helping businesses build their brands and websites.
So where do you start? Make sure to connect with your current network. Let them know what you’re up to — and don’t forget tip #1, ask them how they’re doing first!
No more scared entrepreneur. Go update your LinkedIn and other social media profiles. Call yourself a business owner. Update your headshot. And make sure your email signature matches, too. It's time to put yourself out there!
I believe you can build a life you love while doing work you love. You are uniquely created and built for this! Let’s go serve the marketplace!
